November 2018

Treat Yourself Right, November 1, 2018

I made a set of vision boards after I left my job; pics of women who are doing what I’d like to do, words as prompts, images of dream settings and states of being. One board has the phrase “Treat Yourself Right”, which I cut from one of a magazine. The boards were assembled with tape because it’s all I had, and that one piece is always refusing to lay flat, sticking out from the others. A reminder from universe?

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Won’t Give In, November 2, 2018

Little things out of the blue send me into a tizzy. The other night I got a bank alert about my insurance premium going through and I panicked, my breath gone. The money to cover the expense is in my account and then some, but what about after? That’s all I could keep thinking over and over, so fully giving into fear despite knowing that will only do harm. I meditated, I prayed, it passed, but it does linger. May it ever motivate me to have faith and work harder.

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My Electric Head, November 3, 2018

In between fear spikes, I have discovered that listening to White Zombie’s Astro-Creep: 2000 album makes me insanely motivated. I thought it might only be effective for typing hundreds of pages of decades-old poetry but no no, it’s an effective pick-me-up for all circumstances.

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Clean Jeans Are tight jeans, November 4, 2018

Well I thought I was getting up at a very reasonable 10am but it’s actually 9am and now I have no excuse to do my laundry. Of course what this really means is that I’ll be stuffed like a sausage in my jeans for a bit until they stretch out with wear and funk again.

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Canada? November 5, 2018

I’m experiencing regret about my decision to obtain health insurance post-job; it would appear all of the things that were included are not really included and what really is the point of any of this. Perhaps my un-dental-cleaned teeth have triggered an infection to my brain. No matter, I’m sure if my randomly assigned PCP refers me to a specialist and fills out the proper paperwork I just might survive.

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Movin’ Fast Bitches, November 6, 2018

Last night I received my acceptance into the city’s FastTrac® program; I start next week!!! The program consists of 40 hours of small business startup training and I’m all aflutter just thinking about it. I am very much a nerd when it comes to taking classes so I’m psyched to be able to move from informal, independent research to structured guidance so I might finally begin feeling like I know what the hell I’m doing.

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Voting, crying, standing, sleeping, November 7, 2018

Another set of votes cast, another batch of tears shed. Am I alone in my emotional response to the act of voting? I mean, it’s important shit! Ugh anyway. Been up since 6am and getting major shit done. I thank the hilly walk to my polling place and hour of standing in line to scan my entries, for the motivation to fall asleep earlier than usual.

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Stop & Shop, why you screw me? November 8, 2018

I start to panic when I run out of coffee; I wind up purchasing my beloved Cafe Bustelo bricks 15 at a time. They are ALWAYS on sale, 2 for $5 at the local Stop & Shop. However, on my last trip they were not and I almost threw a fit. I had to settle for a temporary fix of 2 cans for $6 and it just screwed up my whole plan. That will barely get me to Thanksgiving! Now I have to plan a whole second trip, with the added hassle of checking out the circulars first, lest I be disappointed again.

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universe, please give me good words, November 9, 2018

I’ve had a Post-it list of three people I need to email staring at my for two weeks now and I still haven’t done anything about it. Emails! Not phone calls… just emails. WTF is wrong with me? I can’t tell if it’s defiance against self or fear of no response or saying something stupid or feeling like I have nothing relevant to say or all of these things. Arghhhh.

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Mandy Is Magic, November 10, 2018

Finally got my MoviePass to work last night; I used to rave about it to everyone and now I mostly curse it. Anyway! I saw Mandy at the IFC Center and it BLEW MY FUCKING MIND; I came out of the theater feeling as though I had just watched a wholly perfect film. I will be writing a review on it but I feel like I’ve been focusing too much on movies lately so I’ll wait a bit. You should go see it in the meantime!

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Fresh Linen Magic, November 11, 2018

Changing my sheets makes me feel like a fucking hero. I’m here working in fresh linens, a cat at my feet, and feeling mighty fine about it. This is yet another thing I avoid for way too long so the payoff is amped up. I guess feeling icky for all those other weeks is worth it?

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Off the grid is the place for me, November 12, 2018

Well I’m going off the grid for a couple of days… back on for a bit tomorrow night for the FastTrac® series but otherwise inaccessible. I can’t wait for the unplugging; the deep comfort of silence, the plush of isolation. To that end, tomorrow’s daily post will most likely be delayed a few hours, but I’ll be back on schedule Wednesday.

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The salvation of starbucks wiFi, November 13, 2018

Temporarily back on the grid a bit earlier than expected; the combination of Sprint cell service and Google maps meant I went offline and subsequently got rerouted repeatedly. The experience left me extra paranoid and so I gave myself 5 hours to make a 2.5 hour drive. Now I am killing time at Starbucks before my first class. The off-the-grid cabin is pretty sweet though — heading back tonight.

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Brianne had a great fall [day], November 14, 2018

I woke up to sunlight filtering through snow-dusted trees. I drove home in gentle breeze-driven leavefall. I returned my carshare and walked the last 12 blocks home in the brisk cold. It is a perfect November day.

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Waking Up in the real world, November 15, 2018

Waking up to my big cat scratching and pounding at my door is not quite the same soothing experience as rolling over and gazing at snow-dusted trees. Still, it’s good to be home and in my own non-memory foam bed —which btw how do people sleep on those things?? Anyway, class 2 of my small business training tonight; way more homework than I anticipated but for the best. The busier I am, the more I get done.

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The bug of busy, November 16, 2018

Business is a contagious disease and each coming week seems to catching the bug. 8:30am vet drop-offs, evening classes the same nights as morning meetings as afternoon classes, professional events right before coaching sessions and on and on ad infinitum. At the same time, each of my tech devices seem to be catching the slowdown. The scales always rebalance huh?

Brianne McGuireComment