January 2019

Whew… January 1, 2019

Well here we are… The first day of the hullabaloo dying down and life returning to winter normal. I am relieved, I feel mildly underwhelmed, I am exhausted. I’m treating today like a Sunday and going whole hog on the final day of my holiday self-care push which started with some vegan ice cream and Rick & Morty episodes at 4am this morning after a long night of dancing with friends. Happy new year bitches!

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I check my horoscope, January 2, 2019

Do you check your horoscope? I do and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Anyway, l there was something in one of my monthly forecasts (I check multiple sources for a well-rounded outlook you see) about getting a kick in the ass of motivation/production energy around 1/21 and that I may be inclined to extend the holiday season feelings until then. In other words, I may be a lazy bum for the next three weeks. Well today I already feel behind and lethargic and a little unmotivated but who can say if that is cosmic or not? There are so many mysteries of life.

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Sweet Potato-Brain, January 3, 2019

THIS is me right now: instead of a brain-brain, I have sweet potato-brain and I feel defunct and on the verge of drooling. I am also hella regretful of my decision to return immediately to a normal publishing schedule as my body and mind have clearly launched a mutiny against all commitments. Sweet potato-brain isn’t fast, sharp or nimble and I fear I am losing the battle. Pray for me non-sweet-potato-brainers. Also, thank you @lorynbrantz on Instagram for your extremely relevant comics.

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Amaze-Brain, January 4, 2019

Check this out: yesterday I was a full-on drooling idiot with a root vegetable brain and today I’m doing dishes and repairing my vacuum AND getting errands done. I am a fucking miracle. I even spoke to someone on the phone today! Truly amazing stuff.

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Fuck YES Indian Women, January 5, 2019

Have you heard about this human chain of 5 MILLION Indian women made in protest of gender inequality?? It’s pretty fucking amazing; 385 miles long, women of all ages standing shoulder to shoulder. I’ve been seeing posts about the event all week and it brought to my attention that India is considered to be the most dangerous country in the world for women, something I had not realized. This new knowledge makes the impact of their physical statement all the more powerful and courageous and I am so proud of my global sisters for taking a stand.

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Complaints, January 6, 2019

So I woke up with blood cramps and right now there is little else on my mind. Well that and: the protests happening all around the world, and of course the terribly angry New Yorkers set for another awful wait at their beloved salad shops during tomorrow’s work day. We all have something.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—Hero, January 7, 2019

Ms. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez absolutely fucking KILLING IT and not just with her wardrobe, hoops and signature red lips—she is sharp as a tack and already running hard in DC. I am so in love with this lady and not just because she’s from the Bronx! Anyway, I could read her tweets all day and I do (also, so should you). That link goes to a lovely write-up of her “You’re the GOP Minority Whip. How do you not know how marginal tax rates work?” tweet from this weekend, swoon...

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Something in the right direction, January 8, 2019

Cyntoia Brown was granted clemency yesterday, which frankly is fantastic but what the fuck took so long? This lady has been in prison for 15 YEARS for defending herself against someone who picked her up for sex while she was being trafficked. Ms. Brown was sentenced to life at the age of 16 and clearly already a victim before the incident for which she was tried but somehow that detail had zero impact on her trial. There are so very many things broken in American systems; may this be the first of many steps in the right direction.

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CODY MOTHERFUCKING FERN <3, January 9, 2019

I didn’t watch the Golden Globes but I did see a shitload of pics on Instagram and I just want to give some specific love and attention to Cody Fern who was absolute fire that night — have you seen this??? He should really be the new image definition of smoldering. That is all.

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Yeah Yeah, Dirty John, January 10, 2019

Well I gave in and started watching Dirty John on Bravo. There was really no reason to avoid it, more just the principle of the thing, it being so clear it was one of those assumed hits even before it aired! Connie Britton, the goddess herself, stars in it with her tiny forehead and beachy waves. Whatever, she is amazing in the show and Eric Bana too; in fact Eric Bana is so good in this role, it’s near impossible for me to imagine him as anything other than a dangerous pathetic asshole even though I’ve seen him in plenty of other vehicles. Anyway! Dirty John is like, really really good so I don’t know, watch it?

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Was it a sky box? January 11, 2019

I went to a networking thing last night and it wasn’t awful. To give more context, it was in a private suite on the 9th floor at Madison Square Garden with food and beverages and a kick-ass view and a private bathroom but whatevs. In all seriousness it was fantastic, the space, event and people. I am inspired me to say yes to more random, open events thrown by organizations I belong to, in places I’ve never been.

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Dicks and assholes, January 12, 2019

What to do when a guy has a great dick but also some really shitty tendencies? Get what enjoyment you can out of the situation or just immediately move on? On the one hand, if he was part of my project I would take advantage without hesitation for as long as I liked; on the other, he isn’t so why continue with something that can’t possibly end well? It’s strange how all of this is making my “project participant” seem all the more attractive… This is a luxury problem for sure.

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small things and big things, January 13, 2019

So the day isn’t even over and already the “participant” in my project has chickened out and [tentatively?] rescheduled. I’ve also got a hard conversation coming up about bodily violations and that’s always fun. At least I’m at brunch and the poached eggs are perfect and the black coffee delicious.

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my crush on cody fern, January 14, 2019

Still so frustrated about the hiccup with my project but at least I have awards-season Cody Fern. At first I didn’t get it, but then the red carpet moments began and now I can’t stop getting it. I’ve searched for him so often on Instagram that he is 80% of my explore page and I am loving it.

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Unplanned Violation, January 15, 2019

I’ve had just over an hour of sleep, it’s 6:42am and I’m headed to Planned Parenthood for the second time in two days. Saturday morning during consensual sex, my partner removed the condom and reentered my body without my knowledge or approval of his unprotected state. Yesterday I attempted to get the morning-after pill and an STD test without insurance; after blurting out that I needed copies of the pricing to pass on to my assaulter and subsequently breaking into tears in front of not one but three male employees, I was whisked away to a social worker and now I’m on my way back to meet with someone in financial assistance. Following that I will be whisked away to meet with a medical provider who will administer both the emergency contraceptive and the first of 30 doses of PEP to prevent HIV. I am sleep-deprived, on the verge of tears and filled with deep rage. Have you been here?

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Inspiring Cow, January 16, 2019

Guys, this cow escaped a rodeo and survived in the Alaska wilderness for 6 MONTHS. I am impressed, inspired, and very concerned for said cow’s safety as the Alaskan people are hot on her trail. Please join me in hoping/praying for her continued survival and well-being on her journey of freedom.

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Marsai Martin, Hero, January 17, 2019

The function of age is debatable. Take for example, Marsai Martin, the actress who plays Diane on Black-ish and is set to be THE YOUNGEST EXECUTIVE PRODUCER IN HISTORY. This girl pitched the movie Little at the age of 11! Now at the ripe age of 14, she has her very own production company. HOLY FUCK. Refinery 29 has a great list of other young [YOUNG] movers and shakers if you want to feel worse about being old— this is actually where I first learned of Marsai’s amazingness outside of acting.

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Be like A White Male, January 18, 2019

I just finished a one-on-one coaching session wherein I received some heaven-sent brilliance: BE LIKE A WHITE MALE. Seriously. I was verbalizing my concerns about language and outcome and attributing it to being “woo woo” and my coach stopped me and dropped that wisdom bomb. Using affirmative language is not woo woo, it’s being like a white male. Think about it, white men lie and oversell all the time! And it really is very much like using manifestation language! Stuff like: it’s already happening, it’s already done, it’s already successful; I AM ___, it DOES ___, this IS ___, etc… If you are a white male, this revelation is probably hilarious; to everyone else, you get it right?

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No Sleep till ChiTown, January 19, 2019

Lurk in the night, sleep in the day? Pretty much my schedule in a nutshell this past week. Right now I’m off to the airport for my annual Frankie Knuckles weekend in Chicago and I’ve had ZERO sleep; an intense disco nap lies in the near future... Stay tuned for travel diary entries bringing you all the minute to minute action of domestic air travel during a government shutdown and a weekend of dancing my troubles away in the birthplace of house music. My best friend is joining me for the first time so shit is gonna be extra special. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. weekend to all!

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Windy Living, January 20, 2019

After a last-minute flight switch, a nap on the LGA floor and a major flight delay, my bestie and I got on what may have been the last Chicago-bound plane. In the 10 hours we were awake in the windy city Saturday we: got a comped hotel room upgrade, pre-gamed with mattress jumping, attended a non-secret house music party and then a secret burner party, lost a license, found a license, and gotten squeaky clean in our giant spa tub. Today we dance again and greet whatever surprises await us today.

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For Frankie… January 21, 2019

Chicago didn’t disappoint. More specifically, SmartBar/Metro didn’t disappoint with last night’s “For Frankie!” Celebration. Rosabel fucking killed it and I danced my ass off till the very end. Same time next year bitches.

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Another Flight, Another Delay, January 22, 2019

Remember yesterday when I said Chicago didn’t disappoint? Scratch that. This weather is the pits and I’m at O’Hare waiting to board another alternate flight after another round of delays. It’s almost as if a lifetime of snag-free air travel has started reversing on me all at once. I don’t love it.

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Pondering Kink, January 23, 2019

Yet again I managed to get the last flight out to my destination before the cancellations began. This week I’ve got two interviews lined up — the first happening in just 17 minutes — and the production timeline is looking good for launching the SEX COMMUNICATION podcast late next week. To that end, shout out to FetLife, which has proven to be an invaluable resource for this project and also for making me realize I may be even more subversive than I realized.

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It’s Coming! [Cumming?], January 24, 2019

I sent my first release forms today which means we are oh so close to launching the initial batch of sex podcast episodes! I’m so excited even though man, things have REALLY not gone quite according to plan. Nevertheless, I’m here for all the surprises, hopefully you are as well.

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Important Things, January 25, 2019

Two things have happened since yesterday’s update: I saw the Broadway production of Network and I asked “the stealther” to do an interview on consent for my sex podcast. First, Bryan Cranston is amazing, the staging of the play was inventive and the material still so relevant and moving. Second, dude said yes and we are possibly recording tomorrow. These things are unconnected but important.

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Ch Ch Cha Changes, January 26, 2019

As this site gets closer and closer to its next phase, you will continue to see changes popping up all over — the logo, the coloring, the navigation… Maybe some things will break along the way? Let’s hope not. Anyway! More interviews and meetings today in service of the developing podcasts and collaborative projects. Also — the deadline for the January submissions prompt is fast approaching if you want to get in on this first community project! Be sure to check out the monthly submission page for details and instructions.

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Deee-Liteful, January 27, 2019

Do you know the album Dewdrops In The Garden from Deee-Lite? Maybe go and listen to it [I am right at this very moment]. This one of those mystery records that found its way into my collection without my knowledge or purchase and subsequently became representative of a very specific time of my life. This happened to be the album I would play each night when I holed up in my bedroom to blow lines and smoke a joint while drinking a small French press of coffee. Every. Single. Night. Same routine: prep the coffee, gather my drug materials, close my door, press play, prep said materials at my desk, aaaaaand buzz… Things really came together by track 5 but every song is a winner, even now, stone cold sober.

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How Do You Get Off? January 28, 2019

How do you get off? This is a serious question and one I’ve been thinking should be the basis of a broad interview structure for the sex podcast as opposed to only focusing on a specific topic. So seriously, how do you get off? Want to talk about it? Have a partner or partners you’d like to record a conversation with for an episode? Hit me up: hello@graphicpaint.com or click here.

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Sex and Art, January 29, 2019

Oh so many sexy sexy sex things. I’ve been knee-deep in podcast art, intros, outros, background tracks, all relating to the new sex podcast [LAUNCHING THIS FRIDAY!]. So far that $20 Adobe Audition editing class I took at BRIC is really paying off — thank God for non-profit arts organizations! Speaking of, do you have a local arts group you can support?

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Posting Schedule Temporarily fucked, January 30, 2019

Ok folks so I missed yesterday’s posting schedule and not feeling confident about tomorrow’s BUT it’s all because I’ve been spending each waking hour conducting interviews, communicating with sources and trying to audio edit all the recordings in time for this Friday’s launch. Also did I mention that I really have no idea what I’m doing with the audio editing? And that somehow all my interviews, despite being recorded with individual mics, have loaded into one single track??? I’m constantly reminding myself this is just growing pains and I’ll get better and figure more things out as I go but it’s very frustrating. VERY FRUSTRATING. Hey are you an audio editor? PLEASE HELP THIS IS AN S.O.S.

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I’m On Fire, Chicago Train Tracks Are On Fire… January 31, 2019

I’m relying on all the outside stuff I can to get through the podcast launch this week. So far I’ve actually secretly posted the first episode and I’m working on a second “QUICKIE” episode featuring some crowdsourced sex audio, which is of course it’s inspiring me to redo the outro and second guess every single decision I’ve already made. Anyway! My point is that this piece covering how Chicago is having to set fire to their train tracks just to keep the trains running is amusing as fuck and keeping me running as well.