DIY V-Day

Photo by    Steve Harvey    on    Unsplash   , text by    Brianne McGuire

So it's Valentine's Day, V-Day if you will, and according to convention I should be yearning for coupledom; enjoying roses, candy and romantic sex later this evening. I say fuck that. I mean, ok yes — sex with a partner has it's merits - but ladies, relying on someone else to take care of your downtown is an "eat for today" situation — how are you "eating" for the long haul??

I choose to think of "V-Day" as "Vagina Day" and in this spirit I call upon you join me in picking up your vibrators and bringing some joy to your own goddamn pussy.

More lady masturbation stuff…

Picture and text by    Brianne McGuire

Picture and text by Brianne McGuire

Which brings me to sex toys — the magic makers of lady jacking off... For my "intimate solo moments" I have been rocking a combo of: cordless Magic Wand + ancient Rabbit which I burnt out one day and have since removed the mechanics from so it is essentially just a bunny dildo — those are the actual tools pictured FYI. It never ceases to amaze me how dark the Rabbit has gotten, but whatever — my point is I am not easily satisfied by devices which is how I came to be master of my domain via the DIY combination I've described rather than just relying on any one item (or person) to satisfy me. I take care of shit my own damn self and I am the happier for it.

DIY combination in action

First, I lube up. Currently I am using Pjur, and only because one of the chicks at Babeland convinced me of its merits (there are many!). I was in the store purchasing a replacement for my original, plug-in Magic Wand which I managed to blow up while in Dubai (voltage struggles of traveling); both the lube and cordless vibrator were successful upsells on her part but I am not complaining as the new wand has been life changing. Anyway! Next step is to actually start using the miraculous Magic Wand; I often imagine the big white tip of it is a face right up in my lady parts so that helps get things warmed up. While maneuvering that device with my left hand, I then introduce the bunny dildo with my right hand. There is much more work involved using the bunny dildo so I need to use the hand I favor in order to manage all the thrusting and angling and whatnot. I can usually cum in about a minute but I often let it just keep building up so when it finally happens my vaginal walls actually convulse and I have a GIGANTIC climax. Well worth the extra time and effort.

And that's about it — because I cum so fast I do usually go a few rounds before passing out in bed, oozing cum and lube onto my sheets. If I am ever unable to finish I just add some porn and ta da! Satisfied pussy.

Happy V-Day bitches! What are you doing to take care of your vagina today??

Want more? Sign up for our weekly email