So it's Valentine's Day, V-Day if you will, and according to convention I should be yearning for coupledom; enjoying roses, candy and romantic sex later this evening. I say fuck that. I mean, ok yes - sex with a partner has it's merits - but ladies, relying on someone else to take care of your downtown is an "eat for today" situation - how are you "eating" for the long haul??

This year I am choosing to think of "V-Day" as "Vagina Day" and in this spirit I call upon you join me in picking up your vibrators and bringing some joy to your own goddamn pussy.

Which brings me to sex toys - the magic makers of lady jacking off... For my "intimate solo moments" I have been rocking a combo of: cordless Magic Wand + ancient Rabbit which I burnt out one day and have since removed the mechanics from so it is essentially just a bunny dildo - those are the actual tools pictured FYI. It never ceases to amaze me how dark the Rabbit has gotten, but whatever - my point is I am not easily satisfied by devices which is how I came to be master of my domain via the DIY combination I've described rather than just relying on any one item (or person) to satisfy me. I take care of shit my own damn self and I am the happier for it.

My precious sex toy combo

My precious sex toy combo


DIY combination in action

First, I lube up. Currently I am using Pjur, and only because one of the chicks at Babeland convinced me of its merits (there are many!). I was in the store purchasing a replacement for my original, plug-in Magic Wand which I managed to blow up while in Dubai (voltage struggles of traveling); both the lube and cordless vibrator were successful upsells on her part but I am not complaining as the new wand has been life changing. Anyway! Next step is to actually start using the miraculous Magic Wand; I often imagine the big white tip of it is a face right up in my lady parts so that helps get things warmed up. While maneuvering that device with my left hand, I then introduce the bunny dildo with my right hand. There is much more work involved using the bunny dildo so I need to use the hand I favor in order to manage all the thrusting and angling and whatnot. I can usually cum in about a minute but I often let it just keep building up so when it finally happens my vaginal walls actually convulse and I have a GIGANTIC climax. Well worth the extra time and effort.

And that's about it - because I cum so fast I do usually go a few rounds before passing out in bed, oozing cum and lube onto my sheets. If I am ever unable to finish I just add some porn and ta da! Satisfied pussy. 

Happy V-Day bitches! What are you doing to take care of your vagina today??