Sex For The Greater Good

Or… Maybe I’m Just Horny

Photo by    Romi Yusardi    on    Unsplash

This weekend I have an appointment to have sex. I mean this literally: I have scheduled someone very specific to come over and have sex and it is absolutely 100% clear that this is the sole purpose of his visit. I’m not paying this person; we are not dating nor are we strangers. We will be having sex for the purpose of creating an audio recording for the greater purpose of changing the world. I mean, there are a few other steps in between the recording and the changing of the world, but really that’s the gist.

I’ve mentioned a few times about podcasts I’m working on and one of them is about sex, specifically what sex SOUNDS like. I want to explore how it sounds when you jerk off, the silence of scrolling through endless clips of porn in the search for the ultimate spank material; how it sounds when you sleep with someone for the first time, or the 1000th time, and every single thing in between. Also how it sounds to TALK about sex, like really, truly talk about sex.

As of this moment, I’ve recorded two episodes: the first was an interview with a past partner; we spoke about how we met, how that transitioned into physical contact and then our specific thoughts about the experience of our actual sex. The second centered around audio I recorded of me masturbating with sex toys. This next participant will be the subject of not one, but three episodes. He will not only be having sex with me, he will also be interviewed before and after to fully capture the experience of sleeping with someone for the first time. We are going to talk explicitly about what we are thinking and what we will be doing, and then of course the actual fucking… I’ll be hosting the episodes here on this site until I’ve got additional interviews and recordings lined up, at that point I will launch on iTunes.

To be clear, the idea behind this project is not to have a podcast centered around my sex life. I am actively looking for volunteers to supply audio and/or be interviewed (with or without a partner) about their own sexual experiences, but so far no takers. I got really close a few months ago with a straight guy who was into pegging, but he chickened out the day of the interview. So! In the meantime I am filling in the gaps; putting out what I hope to get in return. My goal is to be proactively vulnerable so that other people may feel safe to be vulnerable in return. It would be pretty shitty of me to expect people to share intimate things and not be willing to do the same don’t you think?

Getting back to the very business-like arrangement I’ve got coming up. Right off the bat I will ask him to sign a release. Next, we are going to record a pre-sex interview to discuss how we got to a place where this is even an option, along with all of our expectations, hangups, hesitations, fears and I don’t know what else. Next we will have sex, in a different room, with a different recording device. Of course, there is the possibility that he has a teeny tiny penis in which case we may not even have sex — we may wind up doing things other than attempting pointless intercourse. Whatever the case may be, it will be recorded. After we fuck (?), I’m going to interview him again and we’re going to talk about how things went and next steps, if any. It’s all very clear, consensual, straight-forward.

I have no idea how things will go; it could be amazing but it could just as easily be a total disaster. Either way it is an experiment and a risk both parties are willing to take. I am not entering into this because I just need to get my rocks off, though that is definitely (hopefully!) a possibility — I’m doing this to honestly explore something that I find endlessly fascinating. I am intrigued, mesmerized even, by the absurdity, the awkwardness, the messiness, the surprises, the filth, the mundane, ALL THE THINGS relating to the reality of two or more (or less) people engaging in sex. In many ways this is an anthropologic study, in some ways a social experiment, and in others a crazy adventure.

I’m not going to say I’m scared shitless about what’s going to happen or what may follow because I’m really not. I am afraid that I won’t ever find anyone else to participate and this is going to either be a very short-lived project or something that appears to be completely self-serving, indulgent and narcissistic.

I am also considering what this means in a bigger sense. As in, where is my line? Am I willing to have sex in the future with strangers for this project? I’ve been thinking about an interview I heard with a porn star who described how she didn’t work with anyone she didn’t first meet and approve, which she did simply by gut-checking her vibe and physio-chemical response to the person. Her approach is very reasonable to me and it is entirely possible, even likely, that I will sleep with future strangers solely for the purpose of this experiment, using this same filtration method. Of course I can also foresee future encounters being very very tricky should I find myself in a relationship. Which leads me to think about the people out there who are secure enough to date sex workers. That thought then leads to the question, is this sex work? I think yes but also no but also who the fuck cares?

I can only imagine what you may be thinking as you read this; are you horrified? Intrigued? Interested? Why don’t you leave a comment and let me know?

Also, if you’re interested in being interviewed or submitting your own recording, send me an email. Everything will be made entirely anonymous with all names edited out of any recording and all participants assigned a number.

Let’s start a new sexual revolution bitches!

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